The Rowdy Elsewhere

Oh, Blessed Italian Desserts

2010-03-06T02:37:00.000-08:00

Yeah, French and candy, but it's late.

Holy cannoli, I've been lazy with posting. Which totally goes against my promise to myself when starting this blog that I would keep it up - walk it, feed it and make sure it always felt loved. And, just like a rather unfortunate string of hamsters I had in the 90s, I turned my back and found new exciting projects to pursue.

Only, not really, because said projects were just work, and it wasn't so much new and shiny adventure as much as a bit of office melodrama and an admittedly minor mental breakdown by yours truly. Ever second guess your entire life over a meeting at a bad Chinese food restaurant? I'm sure everyone has.

No worries, though, I've decided to viciously shove that little slice of niggling worry to the place memory forgot and pretend that it doesn't exist. Hopefully saying this won't find me curled up in a ball a month from now sobbing uncontrollably into an aged carton of ice cream, watching Cake Boss and wishing I could just learn how to make really kick ass cannoli. Because everything is always better if you can bake stuff.

Is What It Is

2010-02-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

Do you ever do a thing then try to fix it, only to end up in a worse situation?

For example, recently, I got spaghetti sauce on my white couch. After using an upholstery cleaner, the stain was gone, but the whole room smelled like vomit. I'm not sure the tradeoff was worthwhile. In fact, as the stench still lingers, I'm sure of it.

This is a lesson I wonder if I'm supposed to be learning for life applications.

You can't fix everything.
A thing is what it is.
It's not something else.
It won't become something else by trying to force it.

Oh No, I'm Feeling Motivate

2010-02-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

Step one. Get drunk more.

Always do the thing that scares you.

That's my favorite mantra to whip out whenever I'm especially babyish about doing something. This comes up more than you might think being. See, I like being single usually, it has many many perks. However, on occasion, its more enabler than encourager, especially when it comes to getting out and trying new things.

As I've now entered my 30s, I do think it's well past time to start being a bit stupid in my decision making. It's always been straight A's, college acceptance, dean's list, career...I've been an F-ing responsible grownup since I was 10 (with the occasional moment of insanity). Time to have some fun!

Now, I just need to figure out what that means. I wish I could hire like a life trainer, someone to tell me the kind of stuff I'm supposed to do to be all crazy womanish, like when I got a trainer at the gym. Only this time, I'd like for it not to end with me embarrassed on the floor after losing my footing on the treadmill looking at a bunch of strangers looking at me.

Anyway, I'm going to think about it...which probably isn't really in the spirit, but baby steps. Any ideas?

Being Dumb and Knowing Better

2010-02-19T00:59:00.001-08:00

I'm not entirely sure which part of my brain won some crazy brain ro-sham-bo contest to get dibs overruling rational decision making to just do moronic shit like all the time.

For example, walking up stairs and deciding to take a drink at the same time. (Wet and almost dead.) Or setting my brand new laptop down precariously balanced on my sofa's arm before running to answer the door. (It turned on again.)

And it's not even that I don't recognize the stupidity of these ideas as the come up. More often than not I fully call the disaster that is about to occur...and proceed to do it anyway! What, like this time logic is just going to give me a pass?

Sometimes I wonder if these are self-destructive tendencies buried down in my subconscious. I prefer to think I'm just optimistic.

Excuses, Shmuses

2010-02-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

A sheep stuck in a Lake District fence (UK).

Sometimes I feel stuck. I blame my inability to fully accept adulthood on the fact that my face still breaks out like a 15 year old the day before yearbook pictures.

This is how my brain works. I mean, holy moly, does that pile of cerebral membrane work overtime on making excuses. Frankly, it would easier just to do the things I'm avoiding with excuses, but whatevs. The cold, sad truth is, when I was 15 I acted like I was 30, now that I'm 30, I act like I'm 15, and not a very together one at that.

Boy crazy, but useless at dating; love the idea of a party, but fairly socially inept at them; hell, even my kitchen is stalked like a teenager - Cinnamon Toast Crunch, no milk, expired pudding, stale chips, and a wall of mystery takeout boxes that should never be opened.

When I gracefully proceeded out of my 20s (mostly by pretending it wasn't happening), I swore I was finally going to get it together. And I'm going to start on the first day of a month that starts on the first day of the week when I'm not so tired. No, really.

Have you heard? I started a new business...

2010-02-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

Really, what kind?

I'm making snack cakes for vampires.

Oh! Wow, how's that going?

We're in the red.

Two Days, Thirteen Movies, One Film Geek

2010-02-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like this. Hunker down, eat some snacks.

Some days call for an exceptional amount of laziness combined with some long-overdue movie watchin'. The old Netflix Instant Watch queue was getting overwhelming, so I decided to knock some of those suckers out. Thirteen of them to be exact, which is nuts even for me.

The list:

Let the Right One In - Norwegian horror...Fryktinngytende*! Gives a fun take to the question, "How far would you go for a first love?" See, Twilighters, it's not all glitter skin and sticky-up hair. Weird. A bit slow. Quite possibly the most disturbing first kiss you could ever imagine for a kid.
Pheobe in Wonderland - Dakota's little sister Elle Fanning has some serious acting chops, playing an OCD/Tourettes stricken kid who escapes into Alice for the school play. Mostly this movie just twists those heart strings watching Felicity Huffman struggle to mother a child who simply doesn't understand why she does the things she does.
The Visitor - Not what I thought and truly enjoyable. A widowed college professor 20 years past caring meets two young immigrants, faces an unfair and unfightable deportation, and finds a moment of love.
Chocolate - Oh, yes! This was a kick ass awesome martial arts extravaganza lead by a tweenage autistic girl who mimics the fighting techniques she sees in movies and video games to take on the some ruthless gangs to help pay her mother's hospital bills. Surprisingly touching as much as fighty. In Thai.
The Ramen Girl - Brittany Murphy, in Japan, learning the art of Ramen. English and Japanese.
The Closet - How do you escape a firing for being dull? Let everyone think you're gay. Not complicated, or really believable, but enjoyable. Also, in French.
Paris 36 - Borders on interesting. In French. I half paid attention, so I missed some of what was going on. Pretty scenery in 1930s Paris.
Enemy of the State - Not sure why I skipped this in the theater, but it was tons of fun. And, I'm fairly certain, employed every single actor who makes you stop and say, "Oh, hey, isn't that..!" I mean, Jack Black as a tech geek trying to kill Will Smith...what!?
Cherish - The chick from The Craft plays a part that isn't quite sure which cliche it's supposed to be - the weak girl, the slutty girl, the quirky girl, the butt kick girl, or the wrongly-accused girl. There's a stalker who is important, then nonexistent, then suddenly important again. And a cop who is completely unattractive who I sort of found sexy anyway who is responsible for keeping her in line. Not gonna lie, I kind of loved this makes-no-sense movie anyway.
The Skeleton Key - No movie based in the bayou of New Orleans should be this boring. Well, not boring, just struggling for purpose I think. The lawyer is my favorite, mainly because he's played by Peter Sarsgaard, who I find equal parts creepy and crushable. Say, "Yes, Ma'am" in that southern accent one more time, Peter, love.
Sunshine Cleaning - If you feel like your life is a mess, these characters should help you with that. Liked it, but the plot travels a few shaky steps before it sort of gets tired of trying to become inspiring, and end without making much progress in the characters' lives. Julie and Julia was a much better use of Amy Adams' time.
The Shawshank Redemption - This sounded like such a drag, despite everyone crowing its virtues, and the only reason I watched was because I was going through my Netflix queue in order. What was I thinking?? So good! Tim Robbins! Morgan Freeman! Crawling through excrement! Revenge! Eeeeeee.....
Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging - The UK does teen movies so much better than the US, hands down. Not quite as sex-crazed hilarious as the brit TV show The Inbetweeners, this look at teen girls, boy stalking and first loves is worth a go.

*"Awesome!" according to Google Translate, and Google knows all, so I'm sure it's right.

Have you heard? I started a new business...

2010-02-15T15:39:00.000-08:00

Really? What kind?

Oh, we're looking for investors for designing traffic lights.

Wow, how's that going?

We got the green light!

(Oh, that's awful.)

Transference and Art of People Watching

2010-02-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

The Londoners, as seen from a bus in London.

People watching is my favorite. All the things you wish were true for yourself remain possible because you can transfer them on to the crowds milling around the sidewalks. See! There are people confident in their own skins, true love does exists, long lasting friendships endure, adventures are to be had, and, there's always a moment of peace to be found.

Whenever a vacation is too far beyond the horizon (or budget), I'll take to a coffee shop or the park. Admittedly, it reeks a bit of the pathetic, maybe even the creepy, absconding with pieces of other people's lives for minutes at a time to escape my own, attaching character traits and stories without care for their actual lives. But some days, you have to take life's little gifts instead of waiting around for them to find you.

Stop Doing the Math. It's Making You Nuts!

2010-02-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

On the rocks in Hawaii.

I have so many habits I want to grow out of it's almost hard to know where to start. Oh, I know, how about my fun new mathematical tick of calculating the age difference between me and whatever celeb captures my momentary attention. Oh! Ashton Kutcher is 3 years older...wow, I have 7 years on Gaga, Sandra Bullock is 15 years older (also, can I please age like her?!).

Honestly, on a day to day basis, the math practice is probably good for me. Like handwriting, it's surprising how easy basic addition and subtraction skills can get rusty with lack of use. But, I mean, what the hell? It's like when I turned 30, I went a little bit - more - bonkers.

Growing older never really bothered me, and, to an extent, I don't know that it actually bothers me now - in theory. I mean, the overall lack of opportunity afforded to people as they age in our society is terrifying, especially when you don't know if you've found your way in life yet (and who has, really?).
But, I think the real show stopper for me was the general lack of time. Not my own, but with my parents and grandparents.

I'm super close to my family; growing up in a tight-knit Midwestern clan. I'm also an only child and a good friend with both my mom and dad. For an easy-to-calculate glimpse at how quickly time flies and a realistic look at the number of years left to enjoy your loved ones, 30 is the perfect age. A little grim, sure, but that's life.

So, my goal is to stop caring where I fall chronologically on the pages of US Weekly and over-analyzing time's bitchiness, and start enjoying the gift I have in my family. Forget petty grievances, forgive all shortcomings, never miss an opportunity to just chat, and grab hold of every adventure and experience with the people I love every day. Never take time for granted.

Have you heard? I started a new business...

2010-02-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah? What kind?

I'm printing parking ticket forms.

Oh, dear. How's that going?

Fine.

(Ha! Get it?!)

Be Mine? Meh.

2010-02-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

A couple in Nice, France.

Not a huge Valentine's fan, me. Timing's never even worked out for me to have a guy on the Day.

In general though, I just don't really get it as a holiday. It seems a little like giving permission to your loved one to throw all their love into one day and the rest of the year is optional. Maybe I'd sing a different tune if I had a Valentine...but I somehow doubt it. Relationships are pressure enough without having to come up with something spectacularly gushy just because it's February 14th. Also, I'm still pooped from the marathon of holidays in October, November and December.

On that note, happy V-Day!

For V-Day Eve: Heart-Clogging Goodness

2010-02-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

Quinton's does not do health.

There is no better place on the planet to shoot for a heart attack before 40 than the good old US of A. USA! USA!

I generally try to remember that I'm supposed to be eating better. Since moving to California and becoming a vegetarian (obligatory disclaimer I have to say whenever I tell people this: not one of those annoying preachy kinds! You can eat meat in front of me!). But holy moly do I struggle when I head back home to Kansas, ironically the Heartland of America.

This particular little treat - cheesy baked potato soup in a homemade bread bowl with spicy chips, also made in house - can be found at Quinton's on Massachusetts Street in Lawrence, Kansas. I've watched many a KU game from this cramped gem of a bar. Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

Personally, this beats a box of chocolates any day.

The Almond in the iPod: A Test of Will Power

2010-02-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

The almonded iPod.

Today I discovered a piece of almond stuck in the headphone jack of my iPod. Overlooking the sheer physics involved with this accomplishment and the completely obvious fact that my purses are due for a serious cleaning, my first thought was, "Perfect, I can get a new one!"

Only, I can't. I'm currently determined to not spend (except for eating out and hitting up the movies, I'm not becoming a nun or anything). It's simply that I am now 30 years old...yep, eye still twitches when I think about that...and it is time to stop spending like a big windfall is just around the corner.

It's a way of thinking I learned from my mother. In almost all ways, she's my favorite person on the planet. However, she also taught me the lesson that, for every crap day in life and major letdown there's something to buy. Not the most financially healthy way to go through
life.

It's gotten to the point that I buy stuff to replace any weakness, any disappointment, any moment of loneliness, and any fear about the future. But that also leads to buying for any whim and leaving the how-to-pay-the-bill quandry for a time that is later.

So, in an effort to tone down this ill-advised habit and possibly build healthier emotional outlets for my life, I'm on this little pay off debt/learn to live within my means kick. It's hard as hell and I don't like it much.

And now I have a damn almond jammed in my iPod.

Have you heard? I started a new business...

2010-02-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Oh, what kind?

It's a trampoline business in Prague!

Really? And how's business?

The Czech's keep bouncing.

(This is my new favorite game to play in my head. Figured here's a good a place to keep it alive!)

"Unfriend" and The BFF Break-up

2010-02-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

When things go to crap. (Paris...otherwise, beautiful!)

Did you know "unfriend" was the Word of the Year in 2009? You know why that kind of sucked?

Have you ever broken up with a friend? If not, it's a doozy. Whoo-boy. A fun little journey I got to experience for myself in the rather unfortunate year that was 2009.

I truly believe I could get married and divorced without experiencing the level of pain breaking up with my best friend caused. Not to mention, discovering a whole new virtual way to get punched right in face: being "unfriended" on Facebook. I don't even like Facebook, and I hardly ever used it for communicating with the Ex. But getting friend-dumped by social media's darling was a definite low, more so because of the sheer unexpected force that punch packs.

Besides the emotional loss, some other unexpected bummers of being unfriended:

That moment when something great/horrific happens and you realize you don't know who to tell.
Realizing you are no longer capable of deciding if your butt looks big in those jeans.
Losing half your wardrobe due to a sudden loss of shared custody privileges.
Having someone to obsess over the stuff you're to embarrassed to tell anyone else you've even heard of.
Trying to hang pictures without that trusted person standing 10 feet back to tell you if it's crooked.

I'm sure naming "unfriend" Word of the Year seemed like a good way to get some PR buzz. I personally remember it as the reason I downed an entire pint of Chunky Monkey in one sitting. Still, for 2009, I guess I can agree, "unfriend" was a fairly important word.

Oh My, So That's What That Means!

2010-02-12T16:56:00.000-08:00

Billboard on the road outside Dublin, Ireland.

So, I have a weird job sometimes. Do you know what a "vegetarian hot lunch" is? I didn't, and could have happily gone through life not knowing. However, thanks to a client and Urban Dictionary (not the link to the actual term. You really want to know, you'll have to work for it.), I will never be able to clean the term out of my brain.

Why was I roaming around the Urban Dictionary site looking up sex terms and opening some seriously risque photos at work? Because my creative team, which consists of two fairly devout Christians, two college-minded dirty birds, and me (somewhere in between), was charged with brainstorming tag lines for our client's rapid HIV testing outreach campaign to the youth of our community. Needless to say, there was lots of blushing, a few "what does that mean?" questions, and tons of inappropriate giggling.

While we came up with some ideas that would fit right into your average frat party, the winning line was, "Another good thing to put in your mouth." Now, I just need to finish my illustration of an open mouth and a long oval box containing in the line. But first, I think I need to delete my browser history.

When Kittens Walked the Earth

2010-02-12T10:51:00.000-08:00

Burano, Italy. A Cat.

Oh, snap. Is there a better life than to be a cat wandering the canal splitting the rainbowed Burano? A view of Venice and a constant smorgasbord of goodies from the fingertips of plump tourists, which I can totally say, as I was one of them. But, oh, how the cooing must get old.

Taking the NYC by Skate

2010-02-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

Rockefeller Plaza at Christmas.

This is an indulgent post enabling my New York addiction. Look! Skaters! At Rockefeller Plaza! Is there anything less original? Who freaking cares. It's New York! At Christmas. I'm ready to be there again...only, maybe not now since apparently it's being attacked by a crazy snow fairy who is angry and a little bit mean at heart.

Since I Am the Whom to Whom It May Concern

2010-02-11T01:41:00.000-08:00

Venice and a waterbus.

I can be honest, I truly doubt anyone will actually read this blog. But I feel, even knowing I am essentially telling me, that I should set some context.

On a day to day basis, I am employed to be creative. Fantastic job. I have chosen a line of work that suits my belief that life should operate like a game of Trivial Pursuit with shots and also feeds my masochistic desire to feel like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles (minus the happy ending)...apparently.

By that, I mean, I'm the least cool girl in the room at all times, surrounded by people who, if this were high school (and, in marketing, it always kind of is) would probably not speak to me. Because of this I've developed a general sense that I am 1) slightly socially inept, and 2) a total geek.

I'm okay with both, but feel an outlet to embrace and not shun the quirk that lurks is called for. And so, this blog.

Also, I have random photos.

There Once Was Italy

2010-02-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

As seen in Florence.

Is there anything better than random people doing crazy awesome things? In my head, I create things like this all the time, but in reality, I sit on a couch in the night telling myself I'm too tired after a long day. What a whiner. Consider this a reminder that at one time you went somewhere amazing and saw something inspiring...now get up off your behind.

Where Memories Go to Die

2010-02-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

The quick fix.

I love photographs. I personally have thousands...all safely stored away files deep on random harddrives and flash drives, trapping the memories under dozens of little folder icons. I forget, when I stumble upon of these little icons, scrolling through the inch-sized images, how easily I smile.

Day to day, I go to the quick fix for happiness: buying whatever new shiney thing catches my eye. How long does it take for the shimmer to fade? Then, my answer to eternal happiness is forgotten by all but my credit card company and I'm looking for my next fix.

One by one, I'm posting my pictures, reliving the moment and reminding my brain that, years later, this is happiness. Memories and experiences. Let's create more of those!